Note to Self: A Reflection on Love and Choices

A moment of quiet reflection captured with pen and paper.

Note to Self is a heartfelt reflection on the emotional challenges that come with fleeting relationships and impulsive decisions. The poem speaks of guilt, pain, and the weight of choices, highlighting the need for patience and self-worth. It emphasises the importance of waiting for genuine love, valuing one's body, and navigating personal struggles with hope for a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Note to Self

I am poor.
My family is poor.
He is poor.
He will deny me.
He is not even mine.
He is not ready.
I am not ready.
My p isn't regular.
I can't always predict accurately.
They can use me.
Even if it's not intentional,
There is Spiritual and Generational.
The oaths and bonds it makes,
And it's just not worth it.
I don't even enjoy it.

I will be the one facing the consequences.
I will be the one with the worry.

I will be the one with the guilt, the sleepless night, the paranoia, the tears, the shame, the stigmatization, the humiliation, the struggle, the pain, the weight, the load.

It is my body that suffers not his.
My promises to God,
I can't even remember them.
I have to do better.
It's for my own good.
I am weak.
I dunno how to be strong.
Only one person is good for me.
Don't make him cry.
I might not have him now.
But I will soon have him forever.

I don't want to lose what I love for what I don't even like.
They are not my future so they are not worth it.
No matter how hot those few days are.

I will overcome it.
I just have to.
It is only a phase.
Soon it will pass.
And be in the past.

I should also pray.
Because I need it.
And in just one day,
I will finally be happy.